Helped my turtles move into their new home today. Can't say I handled it gracefully; cried harder than a Neo Con, looking at a picture of a happy Black family. These turtles define my youth. For some, it was Star Wars - for me, it was Chinese fish stores run by "AZN Gangsters."  

Turtles aren't always fun - I've been picking up after their shit for over 15 years; feed them the best left-overs, any overconsuming American can ever give to an outdoor animal.

But its time to grow up and face the truth.

These are living creatures! Why would they want to live in a 50 gallon tank for the rest of their lives, when they can explore nature? 

They become a symbol of my growth. As I get closer to 30, I'm afraid that I will stay a Man-Boy forever. A "Man-Boy" is someone who is stuck in the past and can only see their own point of view. Man-Boys are so prevalent in the Comedy community; always bitching about whose not funny and why women won't fucking them...

"Maybe you should replace your nasty-ass T-shirt, with one that have no logos? You'd be surprised by how many women who want to fuck guys with plain shirts"

But It's not just about getting laid - its about empathizing. "Grown Ups" they put aside their own needs, in order to help others. And in the case of my turtles, I must do what is right for them.

Being an adult is nothing to be afraid of. I'm not losing two turtles - I'm gaining my Manhood.

I love them dearly. They sacrifice a large chunk of their lives to teach me responsibility - "What a noble animal, these turtles are"