Matt Morales is one of the most underrated comedians in the Bay.
I first met Matt at the Mock Cafe, located on 19th and Valencia, where he proceed to bomb for his entire set. Four years later - nothing has changed. (J/K)
In 2003 when Tom Smith ran the Mock Cafe you had to wait outside an hour before you sign up to perform at the open mic. I would arrive an hour early so I could ensure my stage time but there would always some ambitious prick that got there before me. That's when I meet Matt. He is one skinny, soft-spoken, motherfucker. One time we were joking around and he lifted his shirt showing his skinny ribbed body and said, "this is what Jesus looks like."
That joke killed.
Matt is unassumingly ambitious; in the eight years I've known him, he has created a band composed of stand up comedians, produced his own comedy showcase in L.A and became a regular at the San Francisco Punchline.
One time after a show Morales, Kevin Shea and I all ended up at a house party. I wasn't sure whom these people were but that just how my life is sometimes. I end up in places I really shouldn't be. Before we walked into the house, I left my newly purchased 4500 dollar DVX 3Chip Camera in Matt's car - fat mistake.
That night Matt got drunk - drunk as fuck.
Since I don't drink, I had nothing to do at the party. Shea was flirting with some girls, Matt could barely stand and I was playing snake on my cell phone alone. At the time, I was extremely awkward - not that I'm not still awkward - just more awkward back then.
Eventually I called this girl, who I just recently lost my virginity to. It was a big deal. The comedians at the Punchline found out and decided it would be fun tell the entire crowed. Mosha Kaser brings me up on stage and said,
"Now your next comedian just lost his virginity - GIVE IT UP FOR EDWIN LI!"
I run up stage high fiving the people in the front row, screaming, "Yeah Yeah Yeah" then spoke into the mic,
"THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT!"
I walk off and the audience goes ape-shit. I love comedy.
But I digress.
So I'm talking to this girl
"Hey what are you doing?"
"Just at home watching TV"
"Do you want to come over to my place"
Oh shit it was my first booty call. Fuck the party I'm going home.
However, I run into this problem - Matt disappears.
I go looking for him. Since he was my only ride, I had no one to turn to. I wanted to go home but I didn't want to take the bus - especially if I had to carry my newly purchase 4500 dollar DVX 3Chip Camera with me. I've been jack too many times in San Francisco and I wasn't going to let it happen again.
I call Matt's cell phone.
No one picks up.
I start to panic.
"What if someone breaks into his car and steals my shit?"
I call again - still no one picks up
"Well if he is missing I guess I'll just have to break into his car myself, grab my newly purchase camera and call a cab"
So without hesitation, I walk into some random bedroom, found a coat hanger, twisted into a shape fit for breaking into cars and left.
3 hours later, I'm by myself trying to break into Matt's car in order to steal my own property - it doesn't work.
Eventually I gave up and stayed over night at the house party. By then my cell phone died and there was no way I could call my girl and tell her what had happen. In the morning Matt's car was still located in the same place he park it the night before. Looking into the rear window, I was relived to see that my newly purchase 4500 dollar DVX 3Chip Camera was still in the backseat. I decided to leave my camera in the car and take the bus home. Finally in the afternoon Matt returns my call,
" Man I was so drunk last night - I took a cab home- sorry".
A week later Matt returned my camera unharmed. Thus beginning my never ending stories that start out with, "I could have fuck her but..."
Check out this interview I made with him:
I have a show on Thursday at the Darkroom and I want everyone to go. Buy your ticket for the Sunset Crew HERECLICKHERE!!!