3 Tips to Pick Up Women

Hi Guys,

This week, I give advice on Picking Up Women. Also, I'm giving a away a free May 2012, hot sauce, digital calendar. Enjoy!! And don't forget  to get your tickets for The Minorities StandUp Here: http://www.eventbee.com/v/tmsu I'll be performing with Samson Koletkar (CBS, NPR) on April 18th at the Stage Wrex Theater in San Francisco. 

 

 

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New Jokes

I wrote jokes that are not funny enough to tell on stage. I would like to share them with you.


"My guy friends are avoiding me because I like to hug them, but only from behind."




I love to read but I hate doing it in public. Peolple always want to talk to me.

 

-Hey man are you Ok?

-Yeah I'm fine! Can't a guy read Chicken Soup For The Sensitive Flat Feet Man in peace?




"I love not not talking in double negatives"




"Reading depress Tupac lyrics alone in the dark with no flash light is not a hobby, its a way of life."

 

 

Thats all for today.

Random P.S

I want to give a shout out to Joodie Sweetin from Full House. I was watching random youtube video last night and she just pop up. Joodie Sweetin is like the cute girl next door who grew up, turned super hot, then trashy, then finally mellowing out.

 

Interview With Rob Cantrell

I can't tell you how excited I am about my interiview Rob Cantrell. He has alway been one of the great comics I looked up to. He is so funny and positive, I hope you enjoy this because I really did.

P.S

Just a preview of the future..

RobCantrell's Tumblr

2011 - Greatest Year Ever?

Wow, has it been a year already?
Man, I had a blast! Seriously, this has been the best year of my young adult life.
Well I'm ready for the world to end - who's with me

Here are my greatest accomplishment this year!

1. Made some awesome friends while working at Rooftop Media
2. Got professional help for my dyslexia.
3.  Found funding for my upcoming movie, Purple Onion
4. Created 20 new minutes of stand up comedy
5. Saw a dermatologist about my acne.
6. Became an Uncle
7. Created a great website (I love you guys)
8. Wrote up a bunch of sketches and late night jokes
9. Learn how to play the MPC (beat machine)
10. Got a real job.

What is yours?

A Surprise Birthday Party!

Last month was my birthday. I didn't think about it too much but the good people at Rooftop Comedy did!

This internship is the best thing to have ever happen to me - everyone in the office threw me a surprise birthday party and I'm still thinking about it now.

Check out the pictures here:

http://blog.rooftopcomedy.com/2011/01/21/edwins-surprise-party-photos/#comments

Influential Comedians - Matt Morales

Matt Morales is one of the most underrated comedians in the Bay.

I first met Matt at the Mock Cafe, located on 19th and Valencia, where he proceed to bomb for his entire set. Four years later - nothing has changed. (J/K)

In 2003 when Tom Smith ran the Mock Cafe you had to wait outside an hour before you sign up to perform at the open mic. I would arrive an hour early so I could ensure my stage time but there would always some ambitious prick that got there before me. That's when I meet Matt.  He is one skinny, soft-spoken, motherfucker. One time we were joking around and he lifted his shirt showing his skinny ribbed body and said, "this is what Jesus looks like."

That joke killed.

Matt is unassumingly ambitious; in the eight years I've known him, he has created a band composed of stand up comedians, produced his own comedy showcase in L.A and became a regular at the San Francisco Punchline.

One time after a show Morales, Kevin Shea and I all ended up at a house party. I wasn't sure whom these people were but that just how my life is sometimes. I end up in places I really shouldn't be. Before we walked into the house, I left my newly purchased 4500 dollar DVX 3Chip Camera in Matt's car - fat mistake.

That night Matt got drunk - drunk as fuck. 

Since I don't drink, I had nothing to do at the party. Shea was flirting with some girls, Matt could barely stand and I was playing snake on my cell phone alone. At the time, I was extremely awkward - not that I'm not still awkward - just more awkward back then.

 Eventually I called this girl, who I just recently lost my virginity to. It was a big deal. The comedians at the Punchline found out and decided it would be fun tell the entire crowed. Mosha Kaser brings me up on stage and said,

"Now your next comedian just lost his virginity - GIVE IT UP FOR EDWIN LI!"

I run up stage high fiving the people in the front row, screaming, "Yeah Yeah Yeah" then spoke into the mic,

"THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT!"

I walk off and the audience goes ape-shit. I love comedy.

But I digress.

So I'm talking to this girl

"Hey what are you doing?"

"Just at home watching TV"

"Do you want to come over to my place"

"umm...ok"

Oh shit it was my first booty call. Fuck the party I'm going home.

However, I run into this problem - Matt disappears.

I go looking for him. Since he was my only ride, I had no one to turn to. I wanted to go home but I didn't want to take the bus - especially if I had to carry my newly purchase 4500 dollar DVX 3Chip Camera with me. I've been jack too many times in San Francisco and I wasn't going to let it happen again.

I call Matt's cell phone.

No one picks up.

I start to panic.

"What if someone breaks into his car and steals my shit?"

I call again - still no one picks up

"Well if he is missing I guess I'll just have to break into his car myself, grab my newly purchase camera and call a cab"

So without hesitation, I walk into some random bedroom, found a coat hanger, twisted into a shape fit for breaking into cars and left.

3 hours later, I'm by myself trying to break into Matt's car in order to steal my own property - it doesn't work.

Eventually I gave up and stayed over night at the house party. By then my cell phone died and there was no way I could call my girl and tell her what had happen. In the morning Matt's car was still located in the same place he park it the night before. Looking into the rear window, I was relived to see that my newly purchase 4500 dollar DVX 3Chip Camera was still in the backseat. I decided to leave my camera in the car and take the bus home. Finally in the afternoon Matt returns my call,

" Man I was so drunk last night - I took a cab home- sorry".

A week later Matt returned my camera unharmed. Thus beginning my never ending stories that start out with, "I could have fuck her but..."

Check out this interview I made with him:

P.S

I have a show on Thursday at the Darkroom and I want everyone to go. Buy your ticket for the Sunset Crew HERECLICKHERE!!!

New Jokes

It was Halloween last week and people in San Francisco are still wearing Black and Orange - Giants forever!

Guess what I was for Halloween this year.

On a side note I recently got an internship which makes it really hard for me to update regularly but I'll try my best to at least update twice a month. Stay tune everyone, I have some good shit in the works 

Peace, Love and Respect!

 

Rory Scovel

I finally got a chance to check out Rory Scovel and he is fucken amazing! He did a four-minute act-out of Jesus having a nightmare. Check out his interview with my good friend Coree Spencer.

 

ULTIMATE LAFF DOWN -

I'll be going down to LA and competing in the Unlimited Laff Down Contest on Thursday. If any of you guys are near the area please come down and support.

NEW JOKES -

Lately I've been working really hard to get a new 30-minute set and one way to motivate myself is to post videos of me trying out new material. I might not keep these new jokes but I though it would be cool to show what the creative process looks like.